Tic Tac Dough: Unintentionally hilarious

 The Game Show Network continues to churn out original programming and turned to a fondly remembered name in search of a modern game show audience. 

GSN's Tic Tac Dough rolled out in mid-April. I like it. It's not appointment television, it airs 30 minutes before Wheel of Fortune in my market and it's nearly summer in Minnesota, a short window of the year when it is both light outdoors and pleasant in the evening. Sometimes you have to mow the lawn. 

I have sampled TTD several times, and I find it enjoyable. And it is hilarious, albeit not obviously so.

Why I like it: The show differs from what I remember fondly during the Wink Martindale era. But it's not bad. 

Points are earned for correct answers and making a tic-tac-toe, and after two head-to-head rounds each player gets a minute to bank as many points as possible during a solo game known as the "60-second challenge round." 

There are no returning champions, so that necessitates game play moving at a quick pace. There's no time for a drawn out, epic battle between two contestants. If a game ends in a draw, no big deal. No bonus points are awarded to either player. Onto the next round. 

If the contestants are struggling to answer questions correctly and the game has gone on too long, then a time limit kicks in. The contestants get whatever points they have earned to that point and it's onto the next round. No outcome is necessary. 

The board has categories assigned to all but the center square, which is a mystery category and requires two correct answers to earn. Unlike traditional categories such as "maps of states" or "U.S. history," the categories are often less obvious, such as "home sweet home," "all the feels" or "the loan arranger."

The questions in the first two rounds seem to lean heavier toward pop culture, but not entirely. And they have multiple choice answers. In the challenge rounds, questions seem more difficult, leaning less on pop culture, and are not multiple choice. 

The first two games move quickly for a couple of reasons. In this version of TTD, the dragon is hiding behind one of the squares, and picking him equals losing your turn. Given most of the questions in the first two rounds are not difficult, finding the dragon increases the chance you'll lose the game. Likewise, an incorrect answer also makes it far easier for your opponent to win the game. And that's what GSN TTD wants, complete games, not a marathon battle of wits. 

There are special squares that pop up infrequently. If you choose a category that is hiding a special square, you will find that the question has an added element which often allows either player to earn the square. Such questions don't always speed up game play, but they will when contestant X chooses the category for a block, but contestant O ends up earning the square and winning the game. 

It's not the best quiz show, but given GSN doesn't like returning champions on its shows, they can't make the questions too difficult in the opening rounds if they want to play two games before the "challenge round." The challenge round is a trademark of the GSN formula, as it aims to ensure both players have a chance of winning the game at the start of the final round of play. For the challenge round, finding the dragon on the board takes five seconds off your clock.

Take all the points for each player over three rounds and crown your winner! Award them $1,000, regardless of their point total. 

Then there's the rather uninspired bonus round. It's basically the 60-second challenge round. But in this case the dragon is visible and moves around the board with each turn, typically delaying a player's ability to complete a tic-tac-toe. And like the challenge round, an incorrect answer takes a box out of play for the duration of the round. 

But all you have to do is answer three questions correctly in a line, sometimes with a delay in doing so because of the dragon, and you win $10,000. It's edge-of-the-seat television. 

GSN has done a good job of packing a lot into the show, and it's probably what today's short-attention span viewers want in a quiz show. It's not exactly what I'm looking for in a quiz show, but nothing is. 

I don't love the show, but it's not the worst way to pass 30 minutes. They cram a lot of game play into 20 minutes of actual show. It blew me away when I realized that its 30-minute time slot contains 10 minutes of advertising. 

Brooke Burns, who GSN loves, does just fine as host. She's good at the banter with the contestants, which is another one of those things I'm not looking for in a game show, but it's mandatory for today's viewing audiences, evidently. 

Why I don't like it: I don't hate the bonus round, and there's no rule on what a bonus round should or shouldn't consist of, but it seems like GSN bonus games are all continuations of the main game's play. I'm sure there's some GSN original that doesn't follow that format and I just can't think of it. But I'd be happy with watching a TTD bonus game where the winner's fate is determined by luck rather than trivia knowledge, like I remember from the 1980s. 

That's probably my biggest gripe. I don't mind the bonus round quiz, it's just not my preference. 

Why I find the show hilarious: The hilarity comes not from the show, but from the game show snobs who commented about it. 

I saw a couple of Facebook posts about the show when it debuted in April, and of course there were plenty of people who found the show unacceptable for all sorts of silly reasons. Some of the complaints were that the show wasn't exactly the same as the old timers fondly remember.

Hey, I liked Wink's version from the '80s, and I enjoy drawn out showdowns between good contestants, as well as returning champions. But I'm smart enough to know that nearly 40 years after Wink's version of the show went dark, the 2025 version isn't going to play the same. 

Hell, Wink's version (which he left after several years, to be replaced by Jim Caldwell for the final season) wasn't played the same throughout its run. As the years went on, the show added more of those special categories that allowed contestants to win a box when it wasn't their turn. That made it a lot harder for champions to retain their crown, of course, and effectively prohibited champions from running off 43 victories in a row, which Thom McKee did circa 1980. 

So it was OK for the show to evolve during Wink's era, but the show cannot evolve for a GSN run in 2025? 

Sure thing, old man.

Other complaints that made me laugh, in no particular order: 

The dragon factors into the regular game play. That offended somebody. (Under Wink, the dragon was merely the enemy during the bonus game.)

The game awards points rather than cash for each correct answer. No matter how many points you amass during the main game, you win $1,000 for a victory. (Under Wink, correct answers translated into cash, with the winner of the game taking the pot, which could total thousands of dollars after a multi-game showdown.)

The show needs a real set, not a "fake" one. (The game board is a big fancy video screen rather than a 1980s behemoth featuring nine video monitors.)

All of those complaints aren't deal breakers for me, but I sense they are for some longtime fans of the show. 

While not a complaint, I am amused by the lack of basic tic-tac-toe strategy demonstrated by some of the contestants. I've seen more than a few poor choices thus far. This ain't chess, the basic strategy of tic-tac-toe ain't that hard! 

I didn't see many of these, but a few comments topped all others when it came to hilarity. Those were the comments that referenced Wink. They fell into two categories.

There were two or three people who insisted Wink should be hosting the 2025 version of the show.

The guy was 91 years old when the show debuted in April. Wink seemed rather spry for his age. I don't know if he was as active he was in radio at the time of his death, but he remained rather active in recent years, and I think he was one of the old timers that the media could call upon when one of his contemporaries died. 

Wink might have been able to hold his own for 30 minutes. He may have been mentally and physically younger than an average 91-year-old man, but nobody is hiring Wink, or any other 90-year-old broadcaster, to emcee an ongoing game show. That's silly talk. But there are rubes out there who think Wink should have been the host because he once held a similar job 40 years earlier. 

But the most hilarious comment was the suggestion that the first episode of GSN TTD should have had Wink present during the first episode to anoint Brooke Burns as the host of the show. Yeah, some clown really thought that was necessary. 

There's a weird obsession some folks have when an emcee or host takes over an existing show. They think there has to be some sort of ceremonial passing of the microphone, or something like that. Perhaps that was done somewhere in television history, but it's not really a thing. Bob Barker didn't hand off a microphone to Drew Carey on The Price is Right. 

I think Pat Sajak and Ryan Seacrest appeared on screen together prior to Pat's retirement on Wheel of Fortune, but I doubt that made Seacrest haters suddenly decide Seacrest would be a great host of Wheel. Pat didn't give a blessing to Ryan. The decision was made regardless of what Pat and Ryan did or didn't do on stage at the end of a show. 

Yes, some old man really thought Wink's presence on the set of GSN's Tic Tac Dough was somehow important to the launching of a new show that has the same name as a show he watched in 1981. 

Game show people are weird. But you already knew that. X gets the square. (Yes, I'm mixing my game show lexicons.)

 

A fictional telling of a legendary Press Your Luck story is one big whammy

I wrote a lengthy review of "The Luckiest Man in America" for my Letterboxd account. (A movie review app/website) Here's an even longer version of that.

If you read nothing more of my exhaustive review of a movie about a game show, then let this be the one thing you read: If you are interested in the story of a guy who won $110,000 on Press Your Luck in the 1980s, search YouTube for the Game Show Network's 2003 documentary about it rather than waste 90 minutes on this film. 

I was a teen and witness to Mike Larson's 1984 win of more than $100K on Press Your Luck. I have long been enthralled with his story. I did a podcast about him several years ago, sharing the tidbits I learned about his life before and after PYL. (My podcast episode about Larson and PYL) His story is fascinating without Hollywood embellishment. As a lifelong game show fan, I had to see the movie. I can't even give it one star, even if I take off my Rubin Brothers suit and try to judge it as an uninformed viewer. 

I wanted to see this film in the theater. In the fall of 2024. When word circulated that a film about PYL was finally being made, I was eager to see it, primarily because I expected the film to highlight his less discussed life outside of PYL. I learned tidbits about his life, and shared them on this blog several years ago, as well. (My Press Your Luck memories in written form) I had to see the film as soon as I could. 

The film made the film festival circuit during the fall of 2024. Much to my disappointment, it wasn't included in the big Minneapolis film festival held each October. I was disappointed, of course. 

So you'd think that when the film was distributed nationally in April, I'd be there to see it in the theater. I had wanted to, until I saw a Facebook comment from game show announcer and historian Randy West. Randy simply reminded us that the film was based on Larson's story and that it takes liberties with the story. The way he cautioned his followers suggested to me that I was going to be disappointed with what I saw. 

I was ready to spend $15 to see the film on the big screen. I knew the film wouldn't last long in circulation, and it wasn't showing on many screens across the Minneapolis suburbs when it opened. This was a niche film that didn't have the benefit or bankroll of a major studio production, it wasn't going to dazzle the masses. I opted not to spend a dollar to see a film that was going to disappoint me. 

That turned out to be a wise decision. 

I finally watched the film from the comfort of home, at no cost to me. It wasn't easy to sit through.

My complaints about this film, based upon history as I know it: This film dramatizes the story to make it more appealing to the random viewer. I've already started reading reviews of the film following my viewing of it earlier this evening, and somebody on Reddit suggested that the film should be "inspired" by a true story, and fictionalize every other aspect of the film. Why make it a story about Larson and Press Your Luck if the script is going to be mostly fiction? Why not make a story about a guy who beats a game show, and make it a fictitious game show and fictional characters rather than a bastardized version of reality? 

The hand wringing and angst regarding Larson's improbable victory, as depicted in the film, was real. But the dramatization of it -- pretending the producers dragged out the taping for a few hours, pretending Larson had a near mental breakdown during the taping of the show, showcasing a roller coaster of emotions behind the scenes all during the taping of the game and suggesting the producers engaged in unethical/illegal activities out of desperation all in the course of a few hours -- was ridiculous. There are stories about what happened behind the scenes as Larson beat the game, and afterward, but none of them are nearly as fantastic as what is portrayed in the film.

The film goes to some trouble to recreate the look of the 1980s Press Your Luck set, and star Paul Walter Hauser does a good job of replicating the look and sound of Larson. But the many deviations from the actual events of 1984 -- from trivial details about the game itself to the portrayal of host Peter Tomarken as some sort of studio patsy who is trying to coerce an outcome, as directed from above -- are awful. Tomarken was a voice of reason as Larson went on his historic run, but I don't recall Tomarken's comments ever wandering into statistical analysis or preaching.

And too many details of the film that are made up for cinematic effect are just stupid. Larson knew he could beat the game when he traveled to Hollywood to be a contestant. Concocting a story about how he tried to impersonate another applicant for the benefit of a contestant interview, and drove an old ice cream truck to be there, don't make the movie more entertaining or compelling. But those fictitious details will convince 20 people they know the story of Larson, when what they saw is mostly fiction. 

There are too many stupid, idiotic twists written into the scrip to list them all here. They're supposed to heighten the drama. Maybe they do if you have no clue who Larson is, but that's unlikely. For the rest of us, the plot twists are beyond preposterous, and don't make the story more fascinating. The worst of it all is the impromptu phone call the show places to Larson's "wife," (who online sources identify as common law,) during the final moment's of the game for an on-camera chat. The dramatic phone call is supposed to remind us Larson is a con man who will say whatever is necessary to gain whatever it is he is trying to gain, I guess. Instead it's just idiotic, and sets up a fantastic, and not accurate, final spin. 

I've read reporting from reputable sources and secondhand anecdotes about the fallout of Larson's improbable win on Press Your Luck. There's a good story there. I've read a few stories, and witnessed that stage play, reviewing Larson's life as a con man and schemer. These are all great elements of the Larson story that need little embellishment. But somehow the producers of this film found only the studio angst of Larson's spectacular win to be worthy of their film... and yet they had to fabricate a ton of it to stretch their film out to nearly 90 minutes. 

Let's pretend I'm not a game show fan or historian: This is a dull film. If I knew nothing about Larson and wound up seeing this film, I'd be intrigued by the story. Even if I had no clue how television works, I'd be disappointed to learn how far this film deviates from reality if I was intrigued enough to do one Google search following my viewing. 

But all the fabricated drama between studio and network execs and the lackeys helping produce the show is not compelling. I struggle to imagine non-game show fans watching this film from the edge of their seats. And I have an active imagination. 

I was going to give this film 1 star because they brought an amazing story to the big screen. But it's so uninspired and skews so far from reality that I had to give it the lowest rating possible. 

This film is based upon events that took place 41 years ago. Folks who were involved in Larson's episode, from his two opponents to some of the production staff, and perhaps even some execs, are still around. Some of them have talked about Larson and the show in the past. I'd love to know what they think of this cinematic work of fiction. 

Larson's story should have been a biopic, a review of his life with an emphasis on PYL. A fictional version of his story might be the worst possible outcome. A new documentary about his life and the off-camera angst is needed more than ever, even if GSN did a good job of telling his story more than 20 years ago. 

We had no internet in 1984... not most of us, anyway. And we had no social media access in 1984. It's well known that the show aired Larson's win once and never acknowledged him again. Larson should have been a media sensation following his $110,000 win, but I've seen no indication that ever happened. A story like his would go viral in 2025. 

Larson wasn't a great guy. That has been well documented. But his story, which has bloomed after death in 1999 thanks to the 2003 GSN documentary and resurrection of his game after nearly two decades, deserves a better, thorough telling sooner rather than later. I hope we don't have to wait another 20 years to right the wrong that is Luckiest Man in America. 

Get ready to match the stars?

It has been a topic of discussion and speculation for a week, evidently, but I'm not in the loop, so it's news to me late tonight. 

I saw a Facebook post about an hour ago, inviting potential contestants to apply online to play Match Game. I didn't pay much attention to the details of the casting call, but it looked rather standard. 

After I did a little Googling I learned that the speculation regarding Match Game's return began about a week ago. At that time it was unclear who the show was for, where it was going be taped and who its host will be. 

I assumed the casting call was for Match Game's return to ABC prime time. The show churned out small batches of episodes for a handful of years with Alec Baldwin as host. It was part of ABC's brief obsession with prime time games, classic or otherwise, during the summer of 2016. Wikipedia tells me that 65 hours of Match Game were churned out from 2016 through 2021. 

ABC isn't overdosing on game shows these days, but solid performers continue to find their way back to the prime time schedule. 

Press Your Luck isn't a network darling, but ABC has been pleased with it and continues to churn out episodes. Celebrity Family Feud seems to be a valued commodity that the network has tried not to dilute by trotting it out 12 months of the year. Celebrity Jeopardy! seems to be a viable prime time format for ABC, as well. And we've still got episodes of Pat Sajak's post-retirement run of Celebrity Wheel of Fortune episodes waiting to drop, as far as I know. And after a bit longer than typical for a hiatus, ABC is favoring its audience with new episodes of Pyramid. 

But nobody expected Match Game to return to ABC, given host Alec Baldwin shot and killed a crew member on the set of a movie in 2021. It was deemed an accidental death, with the liability falling to another crew member who is responsible for the safe handling of firearms used as props in the film. Not everyone thinks Baldwin should have been exonerated, but I didn't follow the case closely and do not have an informed opinion about his liability, or lack thereof. 

It appears that the new episodes of Match Game will be filmed in Montreal, Canada. Does that mean the show is strictly for Canadian television? There has been a Canadian version of the show in the past. But the opinions I stumbled upon think the show is returning to ABC, given that the network's Facebook page for the show, which sat quietly with no recent activity, was spruced up in recent days. The cover photo for the page was updated and lots of old posts and discussion were scrubbed from the page, I read. I can't prove that, but when it is said more than once, I am inclined to believe it. ABC didn't do that randomly, but it doesn't prove the show is returning to the network. 

There's info suggesting that the show's new production is on a tight timeline. The casting call just went out during the past couple of days, and it looks like the show will be recorded in June. A comment suggested we'll see new episodes yet in 2025. 

I'm intrigued. I was lukewarm to the revival after it debuted in 2016. My God, it has been how long already? Time flies, and it goes by faster with each passing year, I swear. I can't believe it has been nearly nine years since the Baldwin version debuted. Wow. 

ABC's prime time version is rather faithful to the 1970s edition, but we all know some of the questions used 50 years ago wouldn't fly today. Questions meant to be silly and funny -- mocking weight, intelligence or ethnicity -- aren't so funny in 2025. The modern incarnation of the show is entertaining, but for whatever reason, it didn't become appointment television for me. 

I don't watch game shows because of who is hosting, but Baldwin didn't make the show more enjoyable for me. In his defense, he wasn't the only reason I lacked enthusiasm for the show. 

I don't expect to love new episodes of the show, but I'm curious to find out who the host will be. Absolutely no one expects Baldwin to return to the Match Game set. 

And I'd as curious to know why the show will be recorded in Canada instead of the United States. The Baldwin episodes were recorded in New York, and there are no shortage of celebs in Hollywood. So why not there? 

I haven't missed the show in its absence from ABC, and I don't expect to love it in 2025, but just as I was curious to see what it looked like in 2016, after decades of dormancy, I'm looking forward to seeing what Match Game looks like in 2025 after Baldwin's incident seemingly brought the show to its early demise, as well. 

UPDATE: TV's Randy West had this to say on Thursday afternoon: 
"The format is too good to not exploit it again... Same game, new host, new crew, and new studios, taping in Canada."

What is too much Jeopardy?

 Jeopardy announced the participants in the upcoming Jeopardy Masters tournament. It's a fun all-star competition, without question. 

And unlike pro sports, some players get better with age. But that doesn't mean a youngster won't come along and hold his or her own against longtime players. 

I'm not watching the daily game as often these days, so I'm not real familiar with the newer names on the 2025 Masters list. And I completely missed the recent Jeopardy Invitational Tournament. The JIT, as they like to call it, is played during Jeopardy's daily syndicated program and is another interesting way to bring back names from the past, as well as serving as a feeder to the Masters tourney. 

In theory I don't like the idea that the heaviest of hitters are invited to the JIT. When you've held your own on Jeopardy Masters, it feels like the JIT should be beneath you. And sure enough, I see Matt Amodio won the 2025 JIT, sending him back to the Masters tournament for the third time in three years. I get that the idea was if you finished in the lower tier of the Masters, you aren't automatically invited back the next year, and Amodio finished in the lower half of the six-player field in 2024, forcing him to earn his way back to the Masters tourney in 2025. 

And while it seems like the best of the best will reach the finals of the JIT, I see that Amy Schneider lost in her first game of the JIT after two years in the Masters tourney and is not coming back for the  Masters tourney in 2025. 

So it's silly of me to expect the best of the best to run the table in the JIT, and this year's tourney proved it. 

I'll watch the Masters tourney, I suspect, because it's a lot of fun to see familiar and outstanding players in a battle royal. And a couple of the first-time participants intrigue me.  

I have limited familiarity with Roger Craig, but I've seen him over the years. He didn't have a long reign as a champion, so that's part of the reason why he doesn't stand out in my Jeopardy memories. Given he has held his own in past tournament play, his punching a ticket to Masters via a runner-up finish in the JIT is deserved, and I look forward to seeing him play for the first time in years, given I missed his recent JIT efforts. 

I have always been dazzled by Brad Rutter, seemingly more so than the media. I used to argue he'd have been Ken Jennings if Rutter hadn't been capped at five victories during his original reign as a Jeopardy champion. Would he have ran off 74 victories? We'll never know, and that's unfortunate. 

I wouldn't have held him in high esteem had he not bested Jennings in Jeopardy's big tournament action on more than one occasion following Jennings' 74-game run . I always enjoyed watching Jennings, so I never rooted against him. And I figured he was invincible when Jeopardy started creating special tournaments to capitalize on his popularity and notoriety. So it was borderline amazing to see the less adored Rutter defeat Jennings.   

And yet Jennings continued to be a media darling, despite being second best, at least until the 2020 Greatest of All Time tourney, created to capitalize on the popularity of 2019 superstar James Holzhauer. Nobody had dazzled the masses like Jennings until Holzhauer came along, and a tournament pitting them against each other was inevitable. How and why it turned into an ABC prime time spectacular, I don't know, but it did quite well, as I recall, and likely inspired ABC's lust for more Jeopardy more often. 

And as we know, Jennings won the GOAT tourney, as it is often known. 

Rutter, who had always bested Jennings, other than when they both lost to a computer, seemed like an afterthought in the GOAT tournament, and for the casual Jeopardy viewer, likely looked out of place. 

I had no idea what to expect with Holzhauer in the mix, but I didn't expect Rutter to finish a distant third in the tourney. For a guy who seemed unbeatable in previous tourney action, it was a disappointing showing. So I'm glad to see him get another chance to compete in this spring's Masters tourney.

But his participation seems to be in place of Holzhauer, who won the first Masters tourney and finished second last year to Victoria Groce. 

Groce is well known in trivia circles, but didn't make a big splash during her brief run on Jeopardy in 2005. Her elevated presence in the world of trivia, outside of Jeopardy, earned her a spot in the 2024 JIT, which she won, and a slot in the Masters tourney, where she bested the field to win it all. As I recall, she won it in rather convincing fashion. As the tournament unspooled, it seemed clear that Groce was destined to win it, which she did.

We typically like rematches when it comes to sports, and I would have enjoyed seeing if Holzhauer could up his game for the 2025 Masters tourney, but it's not to be. And so far there has yet to be an explanation for Holzhauer's absence. 

If there has been an explanation for why the Masters tourney has been expanded to nine players, I have not read it. But with nine players, I have to assume the Masters tourney will run longer than past seasons. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess ABC wants it that way.

In decades past, a Jeopardy tourney in prime time might not have been worth a network's trouble. But in 2025, when network viewership -- prime time and otherwise -- is a a shell of what it once was, a must-see Jeopardy tourney in prime time is likely to bring a large, dedicated Jeopardy following to the network. And more is usually better, in TV and elsewhere. 

But is everyone excited about even more Jeopardy in prime time? I'm skeptical. 

For ABC it seems more is better. They have the celebrity tournaments that now run in prime time and are more elaborate than the past tourneys that were part of the daily games. With each tournament there are fewer celebs I know much about, and several I have no clue about. Watching celebs play can be fun. But when the caliber of celebrity dips below a certain level, my interest evaporates. And these prime time offerings have never fascinated me. If I've watched more than two hours of ABC's celebrity games, I'd be surprised. I've sampled it once or twice at best, and by accident when I did. 

Beyond the celebs and the masters, ABC aired a special college tourney a few years ago, as well. I didn't watch that, either, and it hasn't been repeated. 

Maybe ABC realized that there is such a thing as too much prime time Jeopardy. 

I'm not compelled to watch any of it, of course. If I'm not interested, I don't watch and life goes on. In theory, more is better, and I'm always happy to see game shows -- real game shows (according to my definition) -- anywhere they can find time on a broadcast schedule. 

Sony seems to be more than happy to sell new product to ABC on top of its syndicated package that includes the JIT and annual tournament of champions. (Is that second-chance tourney now a regular thing?) And I haven't even mentioned Pop Culture Jeopardy, which Sony has sold to Amazon.

But there's a point where you reach viewer fatigue. Not all of us are going to watch every program produced. And I'm quite happy to watch the Masters and ignore the daily games. I can't be the only one. 

At some point, you over saturate the market and cannibalize your viewership with too much product. Sony must not think it has reached that point, and likely it hasn't, but I'd be interested to know how all the secondary product on ABC and Amazon, on top of more tournaments and stunts on the daily show, are impacting the daily ratings versus five years ago. Maybe prime time stunts draw new viewers and grow the daily game's audience. 

I'm skeptical, but I don't know.

But I do know that, at least for me, there's more product than I care to watch, and having a Masters tourney is no longer an addition to my Jeopardy diet, it's a substitute for my daily intake that was more common in recent years. 

Lucky for who?

I never watched one second of Lucky 13, an ABC game show that came and went last summer. 

It was a twist on the big money prime time quiz format... dangle a $1 million prize, make it tough to achieve and hope it fascinated the masses. 

An article I just read suggests it dazzled a few people by summer 2024 TV standards, yet the program fell woefully short in the very important revenue demographic.... it failed to generate enough. I'm not clear on all the ways it was supposed to generate cash for UK producer Studio 1, but its share of ABC's ad revenue wasn't enough to pay the bills. 

I don't work in television, I won't pretend to know the ins and outs of game show production. What little I do know is that game shows are cheap to produce in comparison to scripted dramas. Prize money and host salaries make game shows an appealing alternative for filling hours of prime time television these days, or so I've been told, many times. 

Why has Let's Make a Deal filled an hour of CBS's daytime programming for more than 15 years in a slot that was once, at least here in Minnesota, reserved for a network soap opera? It's cheaper! 

The same story has been sold many times. Game shows, tired reality competition formats like Big Brother, news chat.... they're often touted as cheaper to produce than crime dramas and soap operas. 

In a world where 2.7 million viewers of a network's summertime, prime time programming is respectable, somehow game shows are supposed to be financially viable. 

And it appears to have worked for game shows that attract and maintain an audience. ABC has tried a variety of game shows in prime time during the past several years. Celebrity Family Feud, Pyramid and Press Your Luck aren't being churned out by the dozens each year, but they have survived for several seasons and irregular scheduling. And ABC is eager to churn out any variant of Jeopardy it can get its hands on, with or without celebrities. 

And let's not forget that The Bachelor, which is far from unscripted yet still considered a reality show by some, draws far fewer viewers than it did as a hot new dating show two decades ago. But ABC has a rotation of Bacheloresque shows plugging its prime time schedule through the year. 

All of this begs the question, if game shows are cheaper to produce than scripted dramas, if Lucky 13 is as valuable and proven as the CEO of Studio 1 claimed in the linked article, how the hell were both the contestants and the hired hands producing the weekly episodes left waiting to be paid? 

I can't know all the nuances of television production or how much Lucky 13 hosts Shaquille O’Neal and Gina Rodriguez were supposed to be paid. I didn't see the show, but having seen Shaq on TV plenty in my life, I'm going to guess he was overpaid for his presence, whatever his salary was supposed to be. 

My initial response to the Lucky 13 story left me wondering if game shows aren't the cheap network fix for prime time programming in 2025. But I'm more inclined to believe that the folks running Studio 1, which I knew absolutely nothing about before today, simply aren't as brilliant when it comes to producing game shows as they think they are. 

The ironic twist to all of this: I had zero interest in watching Shaq host a game show of any kind last summer. I'm still not interested in watching Shaq do anything. But given the disaster this show turned out to be, I'm going to check out an episode on Hulu in the near future. 

Lucky 13 for the win! 

One more time, just to be sure that Hollywood Squares is not good

I watched another hour of 2025 Hollywood Squares a day after the fact. 

No, it wasn't a fever dream, or whatever the kids call it. Nate Burleson is not a good host. He is if you want him to act as the life of your frat party rather than the emcee of a game show. 

Drew Barrymore as the center square plays the role of Drew Barrymore, which doesn't work well in a game show where she's one of nine celebrities on the panel. 

The celebs are trying hard to be naturally funny, but nothing feels natural about it. Leslie Jones played the part of Leslie Jones quite well. She yells like she's mentally unstable, as if that is funny in and of itself. It never is.

Squares has always been the stomping ground of lower-tier entertainment... older comedians, longtime actors who aren't busy making movies around the world these days and other random public figures with varying degrees of cultural significance. 

From what I can tell, Squares '25 draws a similar caliber of talent, even though this is a once-per-week prime time offering. I shouldn't be surprised. 

The difference is that this show really wants the celebs to banter with each other. Whoever is calling the shots wants the show to be more about the celebs interacting with each other, the host and the contestants than playing a game of tic tac toe. It's a weird choice, but there's an audience for that. People like that the celebs are constantly trying to show how funny or clever they are, according to Twitter. 

It's 2025, we have different ideas of humor than we did in 1975. We can't get enough jokes about anatomy and sex. One of the Sunday night shows had a question for RuPaul about Tom Brady deflating his balls while he was an NFL quarterback. Squares has often targeted its questions for the celebs playing the game. A joke about male anatomy is the perfect question for a sometimes drag queen, enabling him to make a predictable joke about deflating his own balls. 

Hilarious.

I don't remember who got a question that had something to do with a place called Dildo Island in Canada. The question wasn't asked of gay television personality Carson Kressley, but he made sure to interject with a comment playing off the risqué nature of the question. 

Hilarious.

Burleson continued to play the part of the jock at the frat party, showing why he's not really a broadcaster, despite the fact that's how he makes his living. 

And this, collectively is what some people want when they watch a game show.

If that's what people want to watch, then the show must go on, without me. 

I tried. I'm old. It's not for me. 

My previous writing about the show is here and here. 

X gets the square, and that's not a good thing

Given my disappointment with the 2025 version of Hollywood Squares, I looked back at what I wrote last May, when I learned of the forthcoming show. What did I say then, knowing very little about what I'd see, or how disappointed I'd be with the end product? That text appears in black. My 2025 comments, responding to what I wrote seven months ago, appear in red. Additional thoughts appear at the end in purple. 

The best news, perhaps, is that CBS is planning a prime time version of Hollywood Squares next winter. So far we know Drew Barrymore is going to be the center square, and that's about all we know. We don't know who will host or how it will be staged. Forget returning champions, I suspect, but expect bigger money than we've seen in the past, most likely. I was right and wrong. Given CBS is running the show in prime time, presumably once a week, it's not hard to guess that they'd not have returning champions. I didn't expect the show to be Million Dollar Squares, but I thought that the winner of a 30-minute episode would have a chance to walk home with more than $25,000. I would have thought $25K would be a second-tier prize in the bonus game, with a top prize of $50,000, or better. But CBS must have spent too much money to coerce Tyra Banks and Drew Carey to make an appearance.

I should be excited about such a development. A classic quiz show being reincarnated for the third time, or more, depending upon how you count versions such as Match Game/Hollywood Squares Hour and Hip Hop Squares. 

I should be excited, but these days I'm expecting to be disappointed. And I was, but this wasn't exactly a bold prediction. Networks don't seem to want game show fans tuning into their game shows unless they're legacy game shows like Wheel of Fortune and The Price is Right. 

I have said, time and time again, that I miss the days of the basic quiz show served with a dash of lady luck. Take shows like Hollywood Squares, Tic Tac Dough, Joker's Wild, Sale of the Century and High Rollers. They were all quiz shows in some way. Hollywood Squares was played for laughs far more than Tic Tac Dough. High Rollers and Sale of the Century had plenty of trivia mixed in with general knowledge questions. But the outcome of each game depended, to some extent, on an element of luck.

I enjoy simple shows like that. I like Jeopardy, and there's a degree of luck involved, but less so than the others. And that's the only one out there five days a week, not counting anything GSN is producing, which I don't have access to. 

We have some fun games in syndication at the moment, but nothing that's a classic quiz show, interjecting a tic-tac-toe board or dice into the outcome. I miss those. 

So I should be excited about Hollywood Squares. I hope I'm pleasantly surprised. I hope they pick a good host, one that doesn't irritate me. I'm a broken record at this point. I don't want to watch a long-in-the-tooth comedian pretend to orchestrate a game. I just want a skilled emcee, a broadcaster who isn't trying to play to the crowd every chance s/he gets, or an actor who hasn't had a big hit movie in a while but would like a steady paycheck. So this surprised me. They didn't go with a Steve Harvey or an Elizabeth Banks. They went with a broadcaster, of sorts. CBS chose its knock off of Mike Strahan to host the show. Nate Burleson if a former NFL wide receiver who works as a talking head for CBS's NFL coverage and as a co-host for the CBS morning show. I can't say I see much of his work. I don't watch much NFL studio pre-game programming or weekday morning news programs. He might be really good, but I have no clue. But his career seems to be mimicking Strahan's career, as now Burleson is an emcee, too. But instead of being a traditional emcee, Burleson acts like he's hosting game night at his mansion, where his celebrity friends and his civilian friends all gather together to mix and mingle while Burleson makes small talk with all of them. So I got a broadcaster, but not exactly what I hoped for. Jimmy Fallon hosts the over-the-top Password farce on NBC. Jimmy Kimmel hosts Millionaire for ABC. The tone of Squares is a little too nauseating for my liking, so perhaps Stephen Colbert wouldn't have been the right fit for this show. But I can't imagine staging Squares with Colbert as host would have produced a worse end product. 

But I expect the worst. The few comments I've read about the new version of Hollywood Squares didn't exactly lavish praise on its choice of a center square. I don't think anyone considers Drew Barrymore to be quick-witted or naturally funny. She's had roles in comedy films, but she's not exactly telling knock-knock jokes in Vegas during her off weeks from her current talk show. She seems to have time for a second job, and somehow a prime time game show is the best way to showcase her talent. I'm skeptical. She didn't try to take over the show as its center square. She also didn't add the quick wit and sharp humor I hope for from the center square. That's not mandatory, of course, and Drew's performance didn't do much for me, but she wasn't the most painful aspect of the show, by a long shot. 

I hope to be pleasantly surprised, and I'm not rooting against it. I'm just prepared to be disappointed, because I'm a traditionalist who doesn't need gimmicks and over production to enjoy a quiz show where knowledge is king and lady luck is queen. But I get it, I'm in the minority. Wow, I'm brilliant. The show feels overly produced, as if they coached a certain tone out of the host, celebrities and contestants. It doesn't feel organic, and, shockingly, I don't enjoy it. 

As annoyed as I am by the end product, I'm not surprised. And it's not a crime. 

I'm not a game show historian, but I know enough to know that the original Match Game was a rather straight forward game of matching words/phrases during the 1960s. The famous, beloved edition of the show debuted in 1973, and was less about wacky comedy questions and celebrity banter. But it wasn't winning over enough of an audience, and the humorous efforts of the show seemed to be connecting with the audience, so they dropped any pretense of formality in the game play and went wholly for laughs, and the show enjoyed a long run into the early 1980s. 

And lest we forget Family Feud. Richard Dawson interjected his humor as host back in the 1970s as a guy whose background wasn't in traditional radio and television broadcasting, as best I know. (I know him pretty much as a game show panelist and actor on Hogan's Heroes.) Five decades later the show is a success because of the sexual suggestiveness of some of the questions and the comedy stylings of Steve Harvey. The show doesn't appeal to me, but it's doing just fine without me. 

All of that is to say that as much as I dislike what CBS is selling in 2025, it's not a surprise. There's no reason a new version of a game show shouldn't be tweaked for a different market than past versions of the game. And CBS chose that route. I may have hoped for an end result that was akin to what some of us enjoyed from 1998 to 2004 in syndication, but no such luck. 

This is not your father's Hollywood Squares. Or mine.